Trailer Ladies

In the summertime, it's pretty nice at our house on Tetroe Road.  There's lots of sunshine and shade, and there's a big field out behind the house where a bunch of us can play baseball.  But there's no lake right here.  Instead, we have to walk all the way to Rabbit Lake or Round Lake for swimming.  Usually I end up with a stubbed big toe before we're very far down the road, and I hobble all the rest of the way to the beach in my flip-flops.  We love going to our Grandparent's camp on Lost Island, or to our cousins' on Gun Lake, because then we don't have to walk to the beach, it's right there.  To me, that's what going to camp is all about - being just a jump away from the water.  But that's not everyone's idea of going to camp.

It's funny but as you go down Tetroe Road from our house, after McInnesses, Derouards, and Guerettes, there's a trailer parked in the trees.  Actually, it's not really a trailer at all but an old streetcar from the city that has been parked there - that's what my brother said. I've never actually seen a streetcar.  This one has shutters on the windows and a regular door to go in.  There's a big chain fence all the way around the yard, and all winter long it's locked up tight.  We don't even notice it, in the winter, because nothing is shoveled and the trees are so heavy with snow that they almost block the trailer from sight.  But in the summertime, eventually there's a day when we head down Tetroe Road and that gate is open.  On those days, it's like summer has come and the magic is back.  The Trailer Ladies have returned to their summer camp.

The streetcar (or trailer, as we call it), is a nice green colour that makes it blend in with all the pine trees around it.  If you didn't know to look there for it, it wouldn't catch your eye.  Usually there's a puff of smoke coming out of the chimney from the kitchen, and it smells so good - it's a signal to us if we haven't noticed the open gate.  On that day, the day of the Trailer Ladies' arrival, my first few steps between the gate at the top of the driveway are tentative.  Will they recognize me?  Will they be as nice as I remember them to be?  Maybe they won't want me to bother them?  But it doesn't take long before my curiosity gets the best of me and I walk down the drive.

The Trailer Ladies are two sisters, Hilda and Irene.  My favourite is Hilda because she seems to have an extra sparkle in her eye, but they are both very nice.  They always wear dresses with little flowers on them, and sometimes they also have an apron on, over top.  They call the trailer their "cottage" and I think that is so neat because I've never heard that word used before, except in books - like in fairy tales.  Around here, people have "camps", which sounds so boring - especially compared to my Trailer Ladies and their cottage.

Hilda has short, wavy gray and brown hair, while Irene's hair is a little longer but it's WHITE.  I don't know who is older; they both seem Very, Very Old.   Hilda has a cane and  walks kind of hunched over which maybe sounds scary but it isn't - in a way it's really nice because when I go to see her, she always takes one hand from her cane to hold my hand, and her smiling eyes look right into mine even though she's probably taller than me.  Usually, when she takes my hand, she puts a candy into it.

Although I love to run down Tetroe Road, when I get to their place I slow right down and walk down the driveway to the trailer, taking in the trees and smell of pine needles, and then the trailer, the shutters now open after the long winter.  Placed there, the trailer looks kind of like an old dragon slowly waking up, a nice dragon, a quiet dragon, one that no longer cares to fly but instead happy to lie in the shade and dream about flying, the smoke puffing slowly out of the chimney like thought bubbles.  I get to the front door and give a quiet knock, the kind of knock that means I'd like to see you, if its okay... I hear some shuffling around behind the door, and then...

"Well, hello, little Monik!  My, how you've grown!  It's wonderful to see you, come in!  Come in!"

And in that quick moment, Hilda welcomes me back into her wonderful cottage.  She holds the door open and I step over the sill, the wood stove in front of me, a small fire already crackling away with newspaper and small twigs.  They've only just arrived.  I step up the one small step from the front door into the kitchen, and sit down at the table, where I know I'm allowed.

In spite of the heat of the summer day, inside the trailer it's quite cool.  It also smells wonderful - kind of a mix of moth balls and fresh wood smoke, pie and pine needles.  Like how a cottage is supposed to smell.  From the chair in the kitchen, I can see all the way down the hall to the end of the trailer, although there are three other rooms down that way.  The rooms are divided by curtains that the ladies have made, long curtains that right now have all been swept aside to open everything up.  They made the curtains for all of the other windows, too.  Sewing is what they do - they work in the city, sewing for Eatons'.  That just adds to their magic - not only have I never been to the city, but Eatons' is the same place that sends the Eatons' catalog in the mail in time for Christmas each year; maybe my Ladies are elves in disguise?

"How did you get here?  Did you drive... where is your car?" I ask my questions as I think of them, with Hilda smiling at me and answering, asking her own questions in return.

"We got here this morning.  Our brother brought us in his car, and he's gone back to the city.  How are your mum and dad? ... Did you have a good winter? ... How was school? .... Would you like a candy - I think I have some here somewhere... ah yes, here they are!"

"Yes, thank you!"

I love Hilda.  Who else would offer a candy in the first breath, not even considering the time of day, or whether it was just before or just after lunch, or anytime.

I'm quiet for a moment as Hilda finishes stoking the wood stove and getting the kettle going.  I hear some rustling down the hall and Irene joins us in the kitchen.

"Hello Monik, how are you?  Can you come and help me back here for a moment?  I've dropped something behind the dresser and it would  be much easier for you to reach it ..."

I'm up in a flash, following Irene down the hall.  I try to take everything in - I don't get to go back here very often, these are their bedrooms.  There are needlepoint pictures, books, blankets, pillows.  You walk through these two bedrooms to get to the "sitting room" at the back.  They have an old record player there - they call it a phonograph player - it has a funny speaker on it and a really heavy needle, and the records are heavy and thick.  Irene is showing me where she dropped her watch, and I scramble underneath.  She's right, there's not much room under here and it's very dark, but she's shining a flashlight to help me to see and I have no trouble.

"Oh, thank you dear, that's much easier for you than for me!"

I'm so glad to be useful to the Ladies, they are always so kind to me.

I don't want to overstay my welcome, they are still moving in and have boxes and things to unpack and I don't want to get in the way.

"How long will you stay?" I ask, already thinking about my next visit.

"We'll be here for the month of July," Hilda says.  "We want to pick some mushrooms, and also blueberries when they come out."

Wow, I think, mushrooms!  Who picks mushrooms?  I don't even like mushrooms much.  I see them in the forest and think they all must be poison, their colours are so bright.  Maybe I'll be able to go with them to see, when they go.

"Well, I have to go now," I decide, and move towards the door, navigating around the small space in the kitchen.

"Come to see us again soon," Hilda smiles as she opens the door for me.  "Let your brothers know to come over for a candy!"

I smile a big smile and say thanks! and bye! and then I run all the way home, fast as I can, somehow excited and happy by my visit, and run just to do something with all of that energy.  Frank and John are playing in the yard, and they glance over at me as I run up.

"The Trailer Ladies are back!" I announce, glad somehow that I was the one who saw them first.

John and Frank look at each other, eyes wide open, and both say, "Trailer Ladies!" with smiles, drop everything and take off running down the road, back the way I've just come.

I wonder what the Ladies lives must be like, living in the big city, and what a change it must be for them here, at their cottage.  I guess they don't need a lake to have a cottage, instead here they have the Forest.  In the city they don't have a forest.  I think maybe that's right, that maybe all you need for a cottage or a camp is to have some quiet space in nature where you have time to read a book or not even do THAT much. Maybe to just sit and watch the birds and plants and be with yourself.  And maybe that is enough.

Silver Anniversary

There always seems to be stuff going on at my house.  Sometimes I know what it is, and sometimes I don't.  Either way though, I can feel it.  It's kind of a buzzy feeling in my tummy, not exactly like butterflies, maybe more like caterpillars. Those black and brown ones that are really fuzzy and look soft  but are actually kind of prickly if you touch them.  Better to just watch them there, munching on leaves like they've got nothing else to do but eat.

My sister Anne and I share a room.  It's a funny kind of room because it's got a triple kind of bunkbed - a regular bunkbed against the wall, and half-way up, where your feet go, there's another bed that sticks out into the middle of the room.  My dad made this bed when he made the house bigger for us so the room would fit three girls, but Claudie doesn't live at home anymore and Reine is married and lives far away.  I don't even remember when they both lived at home.  As it is, Anne is nine years older than me, and soon she will be moving away too - she is graduating from Grade 13 this month.

Anne is pretty much everything I'd like to be.  She's really smart at school; she does great at a bunch of different sports; she's got a really nice boyfriend; she doesn't chew her fingernails; she's got pretty, long hair.  She sits up straight. Me, I'm pretty smart at school; I like sports too (but we don't have any teams yet at school); I don't think I'll ever have a boyfriend; I chew my fingernails until my fingers hurt; I've always had a pixie cut.  I slouch.  But my dad said to me the other day, when I was complaining about having to do the dishes AGAIN, that one day I'll just do them, just like Anne does.  I don't know if THAT's true, but at least dad thinks so, and that's something to keep me hoping.

Mom and Dad are going to Anne's Grade 13 graduation ceremony.  They even got an invitation in the mail from the school.  Anne's boyfriend, Dan, is graduating from Grade 13 too.  I'm not allowed to go.   Even though Paul says it would be Boring, I'd kind of like to go, just to see.  It just sounds so neat.  But THEN I found out a Secret.  My sister Claudie has planned a PARTY for my parent's anniversary, on the same night as the Graduation.  This year is their 25th anniversary, they call it a "silver" one.   I am so impressed by this - I can't believe it.  My parents NEVER have parties - they often have people over for coffee, neighbours or friends, but never a Party.  And even better, it's a SECRET.  I hope I'm not the one to ruin the surprise.

"I'm going to have you take care of the guest book, okay?" Claudie tells me one day when she is visiting at home, and mom and dad aren't close by.

"Sure," I say, although I'm not even sure what that means, "What do I have to do?"

"Well, you'll say 'hi' to everyone when they come to the house, and ask them to sign the guest book.  Do you think you can do that?"

"Yeah," I say, feeling kind of nervous and excited both at the same time.  I don't think I can do too much wrong with that job, it sounds pretty straightforward.  I am just wondering what the catch is, when Claudie says -

"Do you have anything nice to wear?"

Well, there it is.  You have to understand, I'm feeling all out of sorts these days, a feeling which seems to be lasting a very long time.  My huge feet seem all out of proportion to the rest of my body; I'm pretty much just a tall, skinny beanpole; I've lost all my baby teeth and these new adult ones seem way too huge for my mouth, all crowding their way in; and my short hair makes me look more like a boy than ever - which usually is just fine with me for playing and running around, but doesn't seem to "match" if I have to dress up.  Not to mention that something "nice" that fit last week, won't fit this week.  Oh - and I don't even LIKE to wear dresses, anyway.  Or anything that's pink or with bows or frilly bits.

"Not really," I mumble, wondering what will come next.

"Okay then, hmm, well, I guess I can make you something," Claudie says, brows furrowed and eyeing me up and down critically.

I shrink inside, and feel that caterpillar working away.  Somewhere in my head I know she's trying to do something nice for me, but all my tummy says is that I'm not okay as I am, that I'll just never measure up.  As she measures me and writes down all the numbers, I am embarrassed and flushed.  Somehow I'm no longer worried about being able to keep the secret; instead I'm dreading messing up the event.

The afternoon of the Graduation, mom and dad get ready to go out.  Before they go, they give Anne her graduation present - all nicely wrapped with a bow and everything! It is a really cool clock-radio! As Anne pulls it out of the box, I think that it looks all shiny and silver like it's from outer space, like something they might have on a Rocket.  They all look just wonderful and smell really good.  I get nice big hugs from them as they leave, so nice and warm and comforting.  They are both so pleased about going to Annes' graduation, so proud of her.  I am proud of her, too and think that maybe one day they'll go to mine. It helps me to feel better about the party coming up. 

With them out of the way, my brothers and Claudie get into gear.  Christopher is nervously thinking about a speech, and Claudie is in her element seeing to all of the little details.  She's brought my dress in, it turned out nice.  It's yellow with flowers and some red stuff on it that looks nice.  I'm not crazy about the puffy short sleeves, but she insists that it looks cute... I'm not a good judge of cute so I figure I'll take her word for it.  Luckily for me, I actually have some sandals that will match the dress!  For my birthday in May, I was allowed to invite a bunch of girls from school to a birthday party.  One of my friends, Sandra, gave me a pair of red sandals.  She tried to make me guess what the present was - ("it starts the same way as my name!" she said), but I had no idea ("sandbox? sandpiper?").  I was so surprised - I had never been given sandals for a present before!  Anyway, it makes me feel better that I actually have shoes that match the dress - usually I've got my sneakers on, or clunky winter boots in winter, with my dress sticking out from underneath a coat that's too short.

The people start arriving at our house before my parents get home.  Some of my brothers are outside in the yard helping people find place to park their cars, others are in the house helping Claudie and chatting with people already here.  I hold my post at the Guestbook, glad to have a job to do that I can't mess up too much.  It gets pretty busy, and I can't believe all of the people that come.  Not only my grandma and our neighbours on Tetroe Road, but also our priest Father Denis and some other people from church like Ratchfords and Swirns.  It's funny to see them all mixed together in our house, and how some sit quietly, almost like they are nervous, and how others seem to know everyone and are all smiles and hugs.  I kind of thought all adults were the same - all confident and comfortable, but it seems like that's not true when you put them all together.  I'm doing okay getting people to sign the book - some people just put their name and others want to put in a little message, which is kind of nice, I think.

Just as I think I'm not sure how much longer I can sit here, my restless legs bouncing all over from under my dress in those red sandals, my parents pull up in the car.  I can see them through the kitchen door and they are all smiles.  As they come in I yell out "Surprise!" even though I know the surprise was up before they even pulled into the driveway - there are so many cars.  They are swept away into the living room with all the guests.  Some have even brought presents!  My brother Chris is about to say his speech so things get quiet and I can't make my escape quite yet.  It is short and sweet, and everyone lifts their glass to "toast" my mom and dad.  In the noise that follows, I figure my job is done and I head outside.

Now that I'm away from the crowd and the noise, I feel so much better, lighter.  Frank and John are outside running around the cars, and I join in - although I can't run as fast with sandals and a dress on.  I return to the front step and kick off my sandals, hike up my dress a bit, and tear around the back yard around to the front of the house.  As I round the corner to the front where the living room window is, I slow down and stop in the pine trees.  It's almost like watching tv - I can see everyone in the living room all laughing and talking.  I take it all in - the cars, the people, my brothers and sisters, my mom and dad.  Twenty five years ago, they got married and all these years later, here we all are.  What if they had never met?  Who would I be, then?  Who will I be twenty five years from now? 

I look up at the sky; dusk is just starting to fall and there's still a glow where the sun is going down.  The air is warm and smells like pine needles - clean and good.  My caterpillars are gone, and tonight it feels like everything is good in the world, and that I'm going to be okay.  If Anne can do so well, maybe I can too.  I might even grow into my feet.